What is Extraordinary Forgiveness?

Overcoming the Lies of the Ego Through Extraordinary Thinking

Flying Lesson #3 - Jan. 20, 2020

Lee Travathan

      Is it enough to just say that you forgive someone? In most cases, this is what we were taught to do as children… forgive and forget… and move on. But there is the rub. Because there is no stability to that idea, we don’t really forgive and we don’t actually forget. Our minds retain it all. In fact, we remember quite well and we are still often triggered by a reminder of the event that triggered us in the first place.


     I think of my ex-husband. I believed RJ and I would be together forever. For the longest time, we were inseparable. Then we moved to LA in our early 20s.  He stated a new job and I started at a new college and got a new job too. Everything changed. His friends and my friends did not mix… and let’s face it. Our lives did not mix well anymore either. Why? We were both exposed to people and things that were both new and exciting to us. Our minds, and our separate worlds, had been changed. We grew apart. Nothing about our relationship was working anymore. So, one night I had enough and I left. I struggled for years to forgive him for his behavior that became extremely judgmental. I could not seem to do anything right. And I could not be like so-and-so from his group of friends because I was me. It was never going to work to stay married.


     Fast forward 33 years. RJ came back into my life and I realized that I had forgiven him completely. It was then that I understood exactly what I had done. I had gone in deep to understand that based on his training in life and the limitations that came with that… he had behaved exactly as one would expect. He had ideas about what a wife should be that had nothing to do with who I was. And so, given that this was all he had to go on, I could forgive. You can’t expect people to be anything but what they are, based on their personal understanding of life. That would be some sort of madness. And it is the madness of the “ordinary world” these days and why the world is in such a mess. The center framework of this thought process is based on false information, so the center cannot hold.  


     Today, RJ and I still love each other very much… but that love has changed forms. In fact, he and my husband are “brothers” and love each other. I am very close to his wife, as well. We have history. I knew her when we were young. And all is well. When I think of RJ now I only have good feelings… and that is extraordinary forgiveness. Understanding that people, no matter who they are, can only do what they can do based on their own understanding of life.


     Traditional forgiveness has an unspoken “should” to it. We should forgive. Hogwash. We are not wise to forgive till we are darn good and ready because only then can we see clearly. Once we do forgive, fully, we are free. Free from the burden of the weight we carried around.


     In the end, very little, if anything is actually unforgiveable… or so I hear. In my world, we do it for us… making every single thing forgivable, because we are worth it. But we have to have a why… and that is the why, exactly. We are worth all good things… even forgiving ourselves for everything. And then we fly.

You can fly. I know you can.

Lee Travathan is the author of several books on Extraordinary Thinking. She is a certified counseling practitioner, certified art therapy coach, and has been a mentor and coach to creative people across the world for over 30 years specializing in Extraordinary Thinking. 

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email leetcreative@gmail.com or call 480-323-6579

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Winners and Losers in an Ordinary World

Overcoming the Lies of the Ego Through Extraordinary Thinking

Flying Lesson #2 - Jan. 13, 2020

Lee Travathan

    Living the ordinary life of the ego can be hard work. It is untrained, typically, and a bit of a brat child often. It loves to crate chaos and stress. An untamed and untrained ego can make your life a  mess, to say the least, and a real nightmare to say the worst. One of it's best tricks is to keep us separated from our true peaceful and content self... our Extraordinary Self.

    The ego lives in a world of winners and losers. And we can see that scenario played out just about everywhere we look. However, once you begin to learn Extraordinary Thinking and reap the benefits, you also begin to understand that there are no real winners and losers in life. There are just people doing what they do based on their own personal understanding of life. We add the labels. And we play the game. The roller coaster ride continues until we are finished with beating ourselves up. 

     I was with a friend over the weekend that told me about a particular incident he experienced with an out of control "winner takes all" personality. A true ego brat child in a grown man's body. My friend got kind of ripped apart emotionally by this character, as many have... and I know the story. I've experienced this same man go after me over next to nothing. But I am no longer at effect of his tirades while my friend was caught off guard and experienced both shock and pain. If Ext Thk (Extraordinary Thinking) has taught me anything over the years it is that our society breeds such characters by the millions. They are sent out into the world like loose cannons and the worst of that is that the ego is so big that they can't be helped or see beyond it. In their outfocused minds, they are "right" and everyone else is wrong. In essence, they'd rather be right than loved and in true ego brat fashion, they are their own worst enemy. But until they are willing to honestly look at themselves, there is little that anyone can do to help them. And the man I speak of here may very well be beyond assistance. I did my best to assure my friend that the outburst he told me about was not actually about anything he did or did not do... it was about the brat child throwing another of his prolific tantrums when he did not get his way.  

     So, why does this bully of a man do what he does? There are many reasons, of course, but in a simple analysis, it has to do with ordinary thinking and the way he has been trained to be. With his mind set the way it is, everything is about him and what he wants and needs. The ego is selfish that way. It will almost always throw a tantrum if it does not get what it wants. When he blew up at my friend he was not thinking of what my friend might need at all. He did not bother to make a simple request in a decent manner. He did not take the time to survey the situation and ask himself if he was seeing it clearly. No. He just reacted out of a pattern that has come to symbolize who he is to the people that know him well. A hot head. A bully. A mean self-centered person. And I can guess that in his mind, at the time, he honestly did believe that my friend was doing him wrong. He was not. No one was... but he was doing himself wrong. Without him understanding it, he was creating toxins in his own body as he blew apart emotionally. He truly is his own worst enemy. 

     You see, there is a significant flaw with the outfocused thinking of the day. It follows the same pattern of thought in most people. It automatically questions things that are opposite of the infocused mind. For instance, if the outfocused person questions what life can give them the infocused mind questions what it can give to life. The outfocused mind likes to focus on what can be taken from it while the infoucsed mind likes to think of abundance as the natural order of the universe. It believes in plenty while the ego believes heavily in lack. The ego mind believes that it must struggle for all it gets while the infocused mind know that it's needs are meet in a place and manner that it can't see with the human eye. The outfocused mind believes that happiness depends on things and persons outside of itself while the infocused mind believes that happiness is created by choice from within. Self denial of the Extraordinary Self is common to the ego mind while exploration of the Extraordinary Self is common to the infocused mind. 

     We all get to choose how we want our lives to function. But it does sometimes take some training to unlearn bad habits... and that is what ordinary thinking is, a bad habit that can be broken with a little support and willingness. That is where I come in as a teacher and a coach.

     Winners and losers is an idea that was created by ego based on the idea of  lack. It perceives that there is so little that some have to lose (get nothing) and some have to win (get as much as possible). The outcome is competition. But what if competition was just a thought form and that there really was no real thing called competition? What would you do then? Think about that. Take some notes. This could get interesting.  

Lee Travathan is the author of several books on Extraordinary Thinking. She is a certified counseling practitioner, certified art therapy coach, and has been a mentor and coach to creative people across the world for over 30 years specializing in 
Extraordinary Thinking.

You can reach her at 480-323-6579 or leetcreative@gmail.com          

The Power of Infocusing To Take Back Your Power

Overcoming the Lies of the Ego Through Extraordinary Thinking

Flying Lesson #1 - Jan. 9, 2020

Lee Travathan

     

      Lets face it. The ego gets a bad rap. I get that. Especially in our world today, it causes all kinds of mayhem. We can all see that just about anywhere we choose to look from our own families to the evening news. Our society seems to be coming apart at the seams all over the globe. I'm sure any one of us could come up with a million reason for this mess. But for me, there is one basic reason that explains most of what we see. Yes, it is that pesky little ego and it's false need for power. That mixed with the ordinary thinking of our day that we are all spoon fed from birth can easily create a toxic situation, and therefor, a toxic society. And I believe this can be changed with a little effort and re-thinking of the things we've been taught are real and true.

     For most of my adult life I have been developing and teaching an approach to common belief systems that I call Extraordinary Thinking. It is simple to understand and easy to learn. And it goes against most of what we have been taught. That is a good thing. To those who learn and use this simple process, it is sometimes a life saver in extreme cases and a raft that leads to the far shore for others seeking self empowerment. I am the first to admit that it is not for everyone as some are not willing to let go of old habits… but I certainly think it should be taught all over the world as an alternative to ordinary thinking. So, I teach it to those ready to change. Ready to find more peace and joy in their lives. 

     As we rolled into 2020 I started to think of my own journey in this field of Extraordinary Thinking. I began to develop it in my early 20s and at 65, it has served me well. So many have benefited from learning how to use this in their own lives through my books, workshops, classes, and private counsel. 

     My journey began early. Even as a small child, I questioned the "norms" of the day. It seemed to me that people around me were not really "present" and it clearly confused me. It was as if they had put themselves in self-imposed prison cells and thrown away the key. I could not figure that out. It was not till I was about 12 that it all started to make sense to me. This was about how people thought... and particularly about how they viewed themselves in the big picture of life. And I knew the plan was flawed. Deeply flawed. By the age of 13 I had started picking it all apart to find not only answers but alternative plans to what is now commonly called stinkin' thinkin'. For me, Extraordinary Thinking was born. 

     So, what is the difference between Extraordinary Thinking and ordinary thinking, you might wonder. One is outfocused and one is infocused. One is heart based and one is ego based. One creates wellness of spirit, a sense of wholeness, and bridges in relationships of all kinds and one creates illness of spirit, separation from self, and walls in relationships of all kinds, even that with yourself. I bet you can figure out which is which. Yes, ordinary thinking is the one the ego loves. Ordinary thinking is the ego's own personal destroucto derby. 

     Now, the ego is not all bad... it is just not well trained to understand the world outside of itself so it makes a lot of mistakes. The biggest mistake of all is that it gets you to think that you are very, sadly, and clearly ordinary. Just like everyone else. It has miss-taken you to be less than what you are. But that is not the truth. You are so much more than the ego can imagine. It's view of you is only real when an outfocused perspective is applied to daily life. Infocusing is the thing that brings you back into ownership of your true self. And I can teach you how to do that. This will help you take back your personal power. 

     It that interests you, subscribe to this new blog page. I'll keep you up to date here on new Flying Lessons for 2020 and beyond and programs that you can do to learn Extraordinary Thinking to use in your own life.     

           Ordinary thinking is the mental morass we humans have been conditioned to live in. It is uncomfortable and deep down we all feel that. We know something is missing. We quietly and desperately seek answers. But rarely find them. Extraordinary Thinking is the bridge that transcends the morass of the ego's fearful lies.

Lee Travathan is the author of several books on Extraordinary Thinking. She is a certified counseling practitioner, certified art therapy coach, and has been a mentor and coach to creative people across the world for over 30 years specializing in Extraordinary Thinking.